I have officially started weaning my little man onto formula. I thought for sure if I was able I would breastfeed at least until 6 months.
I am physically able to, but I realized for the sake of my health it was time to make the change.
Breastfeeding is beautiful, of course. My body can provide everything my little man needs to not only survive but to grow literally inches over night. My supply can increase or decrease based on his needs, it changes nutrients as he grows and develops. It’s truly miraculous.
But, your hormones are still all over the map (as if the 10 months of pregnancy wasn’t enough). It adds a pressure within you’re relationship with your significant other that the birth mom must be around. I felt this odd sense of guilt or shame if my son started crying and the only thing to soothe him was for me to feed him but I was in the shower or at the gym. I could feel my husbands frustrations that it’s out of his control. And honestly sometimes it doesn’t matter how well you plan/time it out.
You don’t have much of a sense of freedom. Which of course comes with the new territory of parenthood, but it’s to an entire different level.
Then there’s the more vane things like I hate going to bed with a bra on. My back is so sore from these gigantic bowling balls I have attached to my chest ( I went from a very small C cup-which honestly sounds bigger than what they were as I was pretty flat chested – to a DD 😩) but also from the odd positions I get myself in just because my little man has latched. And oh man….do I have a new appreciation for bigger breasted women who run! 😅
But in all honesty, I have a bunch of reasons as to why I’m making the switch, but I also don’t need any.
It’s been hard. It was hard to come to the decision and it’s been hard to follow through with the decision. I feel a sense of guilt for not going longer when I physically can. I feel shame to admit that I am stopping while all these other mothers around me are doing it longer. I feel like a failure to my son, that I am making this selfish decision. These are all feelings that I would have never thought I would go through. I never thought I would feel that pressure, but I do, immensely.
All in all, I know that in order to be the best mother and wife I need to ensure my cup is full first. I need to ensure I’m happy, relaxed and engaged. This is one of those things that will help me achieve that. I hope that through sharing my journey I will help at least 1 mama out there, know it’s okay if she wants to switch from breast milk to formula or wants to put her baby in their crib at 6 weeks for her own sanity.
There is no perfect handbook on raising a child because no child is the same and no parent is the same. Therefore what works for one won’t necessarily work for another. Stay strong and know I’m always here to chat!