Journal

A shameful pregnancy

When I look back to my pregnancy journey I’m disappointed. ⁣

I’m disappointed in myself that I didn’t embrace the changes my body went through. ⁣
⁣I’m disappointed I didn’t document my progress. ⁣
⁣I’m disappointed I literally didn’t take any photos – it’s like an entire year doesn’t exist when you look at my photo album. ⁣
⁣But most of all I’m disappointed with how medical professionals talk to women. ⁣

This was 100% a major contributing factor to my diminishing confidence. ⁣
⁣This was 100% a factor to me refusing to look at myself naked. ⁣

Before I was pregnant I would make comments about how I wouldn’t get upset about gaining weight while pregnant.

The idea seemed so silly. ⁣
⁣That was until I was pregnant. ⁣
⁣That was until I was told I shouldn’t gain any weight in the first trimester. ⁣
⁣That was until I was told I should only gain a pound a week. ⁣
⁣That was until I was told I should only gain a maximum of 35-40lbs – a number determined for the masses, not for my individual self and pregnancy. ⁣
⁣That was until I was shamed for the amount of weight I had gained. ⁣
⁣That was until I was told while pregnant that I shouldn’t go on any vacations if I’m going to gain a couple extra pounds. ⁣
⁣That was until I was told to watch what I’m eating while pregnant. ⁣

I was never asked about my activity levels. ⁣

I was never asked what I did for work (my job as a good server is a workout for 4-7 hours straight). ⁣

I was never asked what my diet looks like.⁣

I was just shamed for gaining more than what an average mom gains (whatever that means?! 🤷🏼‍♀️)

Don’t get me wrong, I do understand that these are some of the ways they measure mine and my babies health.

But, how can they do that properly without asking me about my lifestyle?

About my nutrition?

About my activity levels?⁣

Nothing healthy is going to come out of shaming anyone on their body. ⁣

Although I went to the gym every day I could while pregnant, ⁣
⁣although my job is very active, ⁣
although my diet stayed relatively the same…⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I still gained more than the suggested amount and was shamed for it. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣

When I didn’t loose weight in the first 6 weeks the doctor made me feel like there was something wrong with me. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
No one respected that my journey is different.

 

*one of the last photos I took while pregnant until the maternity shoot I did that I literally had to force myself to do as I knew I would regret it if I didnt* ⁣