“Oh don’t worry, just give it time and you will get better”
Are statements like the above really helping the ones we love?
I’m starting to think our politeness has gone too far. It’s more destructive than it is productive. We have the right intention – to take the pain, fear and frustrations away from the one we care about.
But all we’re doing is reinforcing the idea that they are over reacting and this shitty feeling that the person is feeling is 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭.
This may cause them to not look further into why they aren’t feeling good. Or maybe they won’t listen the first time but after 10 people have said the same thing they finally cave and give up.
This isn’t healthy. This isn’t helping the one’s we care about.
I can’t even tell you how many people, from friends and family to health professionals who have told me to just give it (my body) some time my body time. This is all just postpartum.
I knew in my heart that it was more than that. But every time someone made a statement similar to the one above I would second guess myself. I would start asking myself is there more I can do? Am I going to live like this forever? Is my doctor going to laugh me out of the appointment?
I felt in my whole being that something was/is wrong. Whether it be small or not.
I was right.
And there’s more people I know who have been in the same position as me and ended up with serious problems.
From a cancer diagnosis to someone I know loosing their baby late in the 3rd trimester. These people in their journey were told to not worry. We’re told everything was okay and would be okay. We’re told not to over react. What if they listened?
I think we need to rephrase our words of support in a way that actually does 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 that persons journey to feeling like the best version of themselves.
We can try:
“I have been in a position of not knowing what was wrong but feeing off as well. It can be very frustrating and disheartening. I’m here to support you and listen if you need to talk.”
“With the help of your doctor, other medical professionals and time you will find a answer.”
“I love an care for your. No matter what you need I’m here for you.”