14 Tips All New Parents Need

the journey

Being a new mom is confusing. I’m not going to say it’s hard because, of course it’s hard. Any major life change is going to be hard and being the giver of life to a tiny human is a major life change. But the moment that little bean enters your world that maternal instinct kicks in. 

We are bombarded with a ton of information, judgment and advice. All that is mixing in with your own research, style and partners style. The moment you think you got it figured out someone spouts out some comment that makes you second guess everything that has been keeping you sane. I know, I can’t even say I’ve been there (in a past tense) I am there. 

A fellow acquaintance from high school is about to enter parenthood at 36 weeks pregnant and ready to pop. She posted asking for any tips or advice on transitioning to parenthood and I just spilled out everything I have learned these past 10 weeks and got inspired to write this post. 

So here’s to you momma! I’m here to tell you these things are okay. In the end your baby can only be as healthy and happy as you are and that’s important to remember! 

.

the holy grail for new parents

.

one

Be patient.

Be understanding.

With yourself, your partner and of course with your baby. Each of you are going through a big change. Mama is now in new – mom mode along with postpartum recovery. Baby has been living in mom’s womb for 10 months and is now in this great big world constantly learning and being stimulated. And of course dad is taking in all the change as well.

Mom – be patient with yourself and your body. Your body has changed but you will begin to understand those changes and not only accept but love its new found beauty and strength. Be patient with baby when they’re trying to latch but struggling.

Be patient with your partner. The transition for our partners can be even harder than for mom sometimes, but they get a bit neglected because everyone is worried about mom and baby which is totally understandable. Mom’s have the maternal instinct that kicks in immediately. Mom’s who breast-feed build a different connection that can leave dad feeling left out. Typically mom is the one to stay home with baby and dad has to go back to work, so there’s a faster connection built. This can be hard on our partner. Be understanding of their position in this new role.

Be patient when baby is crying and understand that they are just communicating with you the only way they know how. My husband and I always go through the check list: when did baby eat last, do we need a diaper change, has baby napped recently, does baby need a burp, does baby want a change of position. Sometimes you gotta come back around to the start of the list 🤷🏼‍♀️

.

two

As I mentioned- check up on dad. Ask him how he’s doing. Give him opportunity to bond with baby. Let him feed baby (see tip number 3). Make sure he does a lot of skin to skin. Leave dad alone with baby for 20-30 mins while you go for a walk. Reassure him he’s doing good. 

.

three

Formula is NOT bad.

Trust me when I say, I know how many times you hear from nurses and doctors and articles and friends and family on how great breast milk is. Of course it is! BUT! What’s better is a happy and sane mom. If you are able to breast feed no problem-that’s awesome! Milk production can be harder for moms who have had a c-section as the body doesn’t go into natural labour but that’s just one example of many things that come into play with milk production and why it might not be right for you or why you would do a mix of both.

Now if your a momma who can’t produce enough milk or suffers from bleeding nipples or something else that hinders your feeding ability I know it can be devastating to not be able to breastfeed. There are so many ways to connect with your little one even while formula feeding. Just know 2-3 years down the road you won’t notice that you didn’t breast feed. Your little human will love you and be as connected to you as the next momma who did breast feed. 

You can read about my journey of deciding to switch from breast-feeding to formula feeding Huntly here.

.

four

Get out with your baby!

Just do it.

The day we got home from the hospital we packed up the stroller & diaper bag and went to Walmart to grab a few items that we discovered we needed. (this was pre-covid times – also, don’t do it before you’re ready, y point is to not let fear be the driver in the decision). It would have been super easy for my husband to go by himself and for myself to stay home with Huntly. We wanted to break the barrier and just felt a quick and easy trip together as a family would help us get past that fear. Before the arrival of Huntly my husband and I both came to the understanding that we wanted to incorporate Huntly into our lives not us into Huntly’s life. I think this is very important.

Two weeks later I was in my friends wedding party. The wedding was a local destination wedding, although we could have driven home we thought it would be easier to spend the night. Once again, this forced us out of the house and broke the barrier of travelling with a little one. We have consistently gone out with our little man and have been away with him multiple times and he’s only 10 weeks old! I think it’s super important to break that barrier and get past that fear as early as possible. 

.

five

Chores can wait!

I got reminded of this around a month after Huntly was born. I can’t stand a mess and actually enjoy cleaning (I know). A growing baby unfortunately, does not wait on mom and dad to be done their chores, errands and work day. The reminder that chores can wait was appreciated. You gotta eat up all the snuggles you can. I know this is so cliche but they really do grow up so fast. Huntly is only 2 months old and I’m astonished at how much he has changed I can’t even begin to imagine the change that’s to come. 

.

six

Schedule your visitors accordingly. It’s so awesome to have so many people in your life that want to meet your little one & congratulate you but I got burnt out pretty fast and I think Huntly got over stimulated at times. It was also very hard to start any sort of routine for our family. There were many times where I even double booked myself 🤦🏼‍♀️ my house was full for weeks and there were days where I didn’t even have time to eat lunch and would end up with a headache.Put certain boundaries up that you need. Put you and baby ahead of any visitors.

.

seven

When your visitors ask you if they can get you anything and you need that coffee or a few groceries like bread or snacks. Take 👏🏻 that 👏🏻 offer👏🏻 they are offering because they want to help you. You will have plenty of time to return the favour, I promise! 

.

eight

The number of times I was told to sleep when baby sleeps is countless. But I’m here to tell you it’s almost impossible, at least during the first month when you need it most. Their sleep schedule is very unpredictable and almost any time you think you have them down for a good chunk of time they wake up! Unless you’re a pro napper who can fall asleep on command it will be pretty hard to sleep when baby sleeps. So make sure when dad gets home from work you sneak in a quick nap where you don’t have to be “on.” During the day though give yourself an hour of quiet time with little one. Just hang out, watch a show. Snuggle. A nice recharge! 

.

nine

Don’t make your house a quiet zone because baby is napping! Vacuum, turn a blender on, have guests. Do it all! It’s important for your baby to learn to sleep in silence and in a loud environment. The world is not dead silent all the time. The world doesn’t know your baby is napping and honestly, most people don’t care. The number of times our doorbell has rang and our dog has gone crazy while Huntly is napping is countless. All it does is “startle” him (which by the way is my favourite newborn reflex) and he continues his sleep.

.

ten

Advice from other people. Listen. Receive it. Then decide what works for you and take it and leave what doesn’t.

People are truly just offering support in a way they know how and sharing what has worked for them. Sometimes it works for you too, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes you agree, and sometimes you don’t. That’s totally okay. Listen to any and all advice. Ask for advice from everyone. Then use what you feel is best! 

.

eleven

Buy baby clothes with zippers! I honestly don’t know why they don’t make all baby clothes with zippers. They are so much easier; especially as your baby grows and becomes more active. 

.

twelve

Shower. You may laugh at this or roll your eyes. But seriously, just do it!

I use this bouncy chair, set it up in my bathroom. I turn on some nursery rhymes and give my man a soother then hop in the shower. Of course I choose a time where he’s calm and satisfied. But I do shower. Every day. Whether dad is home or not. It wakes you up and makes you feel human. It’s a tiny bit of self care that goes a LONG way. 

.

thirteen

Do what works for you. You may have read 2 books, 4 articles, talked to 3 different people and they all say to not do something. For example: like breast feed your baby to sleep (which I do regularly). It works for us and our baby has a healthy sleep pattern. You will come across a plethora of things you should do and shouldn’t do. DO YOU. As long as babe is healthy and happy and mom and dad are healthy and happy that’s all that matters! 

.

fourteen

It’s okay to say no and it’s important to learn to say no. Don’t be shy anymore. You got bigger more important things to worry about than upsetting your friend by saying no to her random girls get together when you’d rather stay at home and have a bath. Or to politely decline when people ask to touch or hold your baby. It’s all okay! 

.

All in all it’s important to remember that this is your family now and they are the most important ones to you. There’s no hand book on parenting because every single human on this planet is different. Never forget that. It’s most important to not loose yourself in the mix of becoming a new parent. Be true to who you are and be the best version of you. That’s how you’ll be the best parent.