• Journal

    Monkey See, Monkey Do

      Becoming a mother has truly changed my outlook. I feel like I see the world through a different set of lenses now. I reflect on my journey in life, my history, the pivotal moments that set the course for becoming who I am (the good & bad). ⁣ ⁣ How we raise the next generation is one of the most important things we can do for our future. I think a lot about how I want us to raise our son. ⁣ ⁣ It gets me thinking back to the first time I was called fat. ⁣ ⁣I was in grade 3. That’s right… I was 7 🙄. It…

  • Journal

    Fill Your Cup

      Friday I was given the opportunity for a few hours of free baby care. ⁣ ⁣ A good friend offered up her free day to watch Huntly to give me the opportunity to nap, clean, workout, cook, watch a movie or have a bath. Really whatever I wanted. ⁣ ⁣ You know what I did?! I had a bath 🛀 & then I had a shower 🚿 ⁣ ⁣ I don’t want to call it 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 myself because self-care 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵 treating yourself it’s a necessity to life. ⁣ ⁣ Trust me, it was so hard to ignore the bathroom that hasn’t had a good clean in a few weeks…

  • Journal

    Unexpected

      Pregnancy wasn’t what I expected. Postpartum wasn’t what I expected. I mean I did go through some of the “typical” motions of pregnancy. It started with a missed period…then 2 then 3 (🤷🏼‍♀️) while simultaneously “pms-ing”. Lower back pain, acne, exhaustion (that got a lot worse), loss of appetite & morning sickness. But then my sinuses got swollen. My knees started to hurt. I lost some feeling in my right heal. I got anxiety. I got depression. My hair grew like crazy. My nails got stronger. I couldn’t breathe. It didn’t stop there. Huntly’s heart rate dropped on multiple occasions. I had contractions for over a week straight and…

  • Journal

    No Quit

      It’s so funny how one minor set back can set you back a lot more than just a little bit. ⁣ ⁣ As you know, i cut my hand while getting the pit out of an avocado 🥑 🤦🏼‍♀️ (this is apparently very common and I’m ashamed to be apart of the statistic.)⁣ ⁣ This was a very minor incident. But it set me back quite a bit. I’ve finally hit a point of defeat. ⁣ ⁣ In my mind I was telling myself, I’m doing everything I can. It’s defeating feeling like you’re giving something your all but seeing zero return from that hard work. And not for…

  • Journal

    Journey to acceptance

      I want to be honest about the struggles of accepting “you” for “you” in all your glory; in all your “extra” pounds, in all your beautiful stretch marks, frizzy hair…whatever it is you need to learn to love about yourself. ⁣ ⁣ I am between 2 odd places. I am working on accepting and loving my body for all it is and all it has changed into. At the same time I am defeated fighting to find out what’s wrong. For a little back story… ⁣ ⁣ Little Huntly & I had our 4 month check up. Although I had been trying to avoid the scale for 2 reasons:…

  • Journal

    Diet Season

      Well it’s that time of the year again…⁣ ⁣ Diet season. The idea “new year, new you” is shoved down your throat you feel like you’re choking on the words. ⁣ ⁣ Everywhere you turn you’re being told (&/or reminded) you overate over the holidays. You lost track of your goals. Now is the time to restart. Now is the time to start that diet. Now is the time to sign up for some program. ⁣ ⁣ Cut carbs. Cut sugar. Cut fat. Cut happiness. ⁣ ⁣ You scroll through Facebook and there are ads. You switch to Instagram, more ads. You hop onto Twitter…MORE ads. Pinterest, web browser,…

  • Journal

    Depression

      Let’s talk depression… ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ When it comes to our mental health we’re definitely starting to understand and accept it. Although we seem to do it in waves rather than just constant. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ What I mean by that is we choose what aspects we’re going to talk about mental health & what topics it’s allowed to pop up in. I struggled a lot with this. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I was constantly talked to about post partum depression while I was pregnant meanwhile no one even saw that I was truly suffering from anxiety & depression during my pregnancy that actually subsided when I gave birth. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Post partum…

  • Journal

    Pay in Compliments

      My resolution (not a New Year one as I plan to start it… well yesterday 😅) is to make my compliments to friends and family less about their looks and more about aspects of them I love. ⁣ ⁣ It’s nice to compliment a new hair cut, cute outfit or bomb 💣 af makeup. But it’s more powerful to compliment someone’s smarts, will power, strength, charisma, confidence, thoughts, perseverance etc. ⁣ ⁣ This lady in the photo is my sons great grandma. She’s endured a lot in her life and has come out on top of it strong, wise and with so much love. She’s beautiful, of course, not only on the outside…

  • Journal

    Defining “Healthy”

      @thebirdspapaya has inspired another post after having @_bopo_mama_ on as a guest. They spoke about the body positive movement and the struggles that many face. ⁣ ⁣ There was one part of the podcast that not only resonated with me but brought back a memory from my pregnancy. ⁣ ⁣ The two spoke about their experiences of going to the doctor and how doctors are the first to be fatphobic… it’s a very sad and scary truth. ⁣ ⁣ When I was about 4-5 months pregnant I went in for my monthly check up. Every appointment you have to weigh yourself before you meet with the doctor which is…

  • Journal

    Saying goodbye to breastfeeding

      I have officially started weaning my little man onto formula. I thought for sure if I was able I would breastfeed at least until 6 months. I am physically able to, but I realized for the sake of my health it was time to make the change. ⁣ ⁣ Breastfeeding is beautiful, of course. My body can provide everything my little man needs to not only survive but to grow literally inches over night. My supply can increase or decrease based on his needs, it changes nutrients as he grows and develops. It’s truly miraculous. ⁣ ⁣ But, your hormones are still all over the map (as if the…